Your Happiness is Your responsibility.


We all strive for happiness although we want other people to do it for us. We fall in this desire for something that is so damn close, but yet we look elsewhere for it. 

We turn to our significant other to please us on more levels than one. We turn to our parents to make us happy when we are moving through emotions. We turn to our friends to expect them to say all the right things when we nee them. 

When do we sit, quietly, with ourselves and ask…

What do I want to truly make myself happy?

What do I truly need that will make me happy?

Happy on ALL levels, not just one.

We have been taught to turn towards the outside when things on the inside get tough, uncomfortable, or challenging. We turn to drinking, smoking, tv, sex, a shitty relationship..anything on the outside to take us away from simply sitting with the discomfort. We are taught to look for distractions. 

As time goes by, these distractions become our stories. These distractions are the stories we tell the world “this is who I am”. We have turned to the outside distractions for so long that it becomes who we “think” we are. The comfortable habitual cycle begins. We don’t know anything else. A drinker for years, a smoker for a decade, or a person in a shitty relationship for their whole life..these are all examples of how we turn to the outside distractions for temporary happiness. 

If this is the story we begin to tell ourselves, this is the energy we are putting out into the world. Guess what type of people, and experiences are going to come your way? The same type of people who turn to the outside distractions of drinking, smoking, tv, sex and shitty relationships. 

What happens if we break this habitual cycle of living this small distracted life? What if we let go of smoking? What if we let go of drinking, or being in that shitty relationship? We might feel uneasy. We might feel weird inside. We might feel a little uncomfortable being without that shitty relationship because we have been in that relationship for 20 years. 

Then, we have two options. We jump right back into what we’ve told ourselves our whole life, and we get back to the habitual comfortable cycle of drinking, smoking, tv, toxic sex, and a shitty relationship…or, you break free. You sit with that weirdness. You sit with that discomfort. Then begin to realize after a little time, that you are still alive. You are still here without that outside distraction. You are still here without that drink, or without that shitty relationship. Then, what begins to happen is you put out into the world this new energy of this new YOU. You create this new story of who you are, aligning yourself with who you TRULY are. 

That, my friend, is where the doors to the palace of TRUE happiness reside. 

Ashlee RayComment