Embrace The Chaos.

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I was vacuuming our couch, when my Baby Ollie woke up and began to cry his tears of hunger.  I then turn around to find Ryv, my 2 year old son dump a truck full of dirt from outside right in the middle of the rug. 🤪

Cleaning while having a toddler and a newborn is uneventful, pointless and exactly like shoveling snow in the middle of a blizzard. You get to a point where you stop and ask yourself...why?! 🤣

I have learned to embrace the chaos. I have learned to leave the dishes in the sink longer than usual and have the toys spread out. I have learned that a sparkling clean house isn’t what it’s all about. It’s not about what we “look” like. It’s about what we FEEL like. ♥️

Happy. ✌️

Cultivating a Spiritual Practice

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Inhale. “Ok, what the heck do I need to do today? Oh shoot, I think I left a load of laundry in the washer.”

Exhale. “Did I ever text my cousin back?”

Inhale. “Why do my hormones make me such a bitch? What time is my dentist appointment again?”

Exhale. “Oh ya. I am meditating. Breathe Ashlee, breathe.”

That is exactly how my meditation was this morning. For a whole 20 minutes, I may have caught 2-3 minutes of calm, quiet bliss. The other 17 was filled with my racing mind. I know when I write these words I am not the ONLY Mama out there that has the constant Todo list running in the back of their head. Even when I sit down to “loose” my thoughts, sometimes I feel like meditation can be entering a quiet room just so you can be with your thoughts. Quite frankly, that scares the piss out of some.

The expectation that meditation or any spiritual practice for that matter is bliss 24/7 is a built up illusion and fantasy that we have made up. Showing up and simply doing the Thing will prove otherwise to that “story” we tell ourselves that meditation is. Just get your cute little tush on the cush, close your eyes, and breathe. Let the rest happen for itself. That, my friend is trust. That, is surrender…surrendering to your practice of personal growth.

Cultivating a Spiritual Practice of ANY kind is crucial for our personal growth. We are beautiful human beings with SO many layers upon layers of what actually makes us, us. Our skin, our eyes, our hair, our emotions, our feelings, our thoughts, our ideas, our personality, our character, the way we act, the way we talk, our accent, and then all the way down to our experiences we have had that has molded us more into who we are today. Having a spiritual practice of any kind means reading, meditating, yoga, exercise, journaling, painting. Anything that connects you more to your Spirit is is Spiritual Practice.

When I sit to meditate, yes, I have mornings like I do today where my mind will not shut up! Then, I have those days where I fall into this space of quiet bliss where there is no time, no judgement, no thoughts or emotions…it’s just simply the space… and I. When we experience these moments of bliss, even if it is for let’s say 2-3 minutes, we are creating a stronger bond with our Spirit, or what I like to call the truest you you can be.

Living from that space, from the heart or from your Spirit…is ultimately how we strive for living this life. Then, life happens. Shifts and stages happen in your life, building blocks around your heart and trapping emotions within your body. When we experience a bump in the road, we often times fall of the wagon. It’s the constant practice of showing up that helps you SHOW UP when it matters the most. We all do it. It’s not uncommon to happen. Going in and out of practices and falling down over and over again. That’s not what matters. What’s matters is how and when we get back up. What matters is that we get back up at all. I am here to tell you…sister, go for it. Here’s my hand. Get back up, and give yourself the time to practice to connecting more to that beautiful and sexy Self you KNOW you are.

THAT is why cultivating a Spiritual Practice is Crucial for us women and our sanity. I say that with a smile on my face, because we all have a little inner cray that can come out. ((I’m not the only one, right?!?!)) My practice has hushed down my inner cray and allowed that big beautiful sexy self to come forth more and more. So here, is YOUR permission. Finish reading this, and take 2 minutes for yourself. I do realize that you may be reading this at work, or right before bed, or possibly taking a poop! BUT, please please please, for the sake of all things in life, give yourself two minutes to breathe. You deserve it. Let your breath take you to the center of your Spirit where that Sexy Beautiful Self is…and bust her out!

Scared of the Sounds of Silence?

Wake up with a grateful heart.
When we have gratitude within our hearts, we actually LIVE in that way. We set a certain vibration for how we experience this human life. We see things from our hearts eyes rather than our egos eyes. 

Often times it takes us discipline to succeed towards our next goal, our next chapter, our next stepping stone in our pathway. 

Take evaluation of your life. 
What is serving you and your highest good? 
What isn’t? 

Don’t be afraid to walk away from that that is no longer serving you. We must remember our inner strength when walking away. 

Inhale. “I got this” 
Exhale. “..and I let that shit go” 

We must take time to evaluate our lives. Otherwise we get caught up in the never ending cycle that is living this life in a small way. 

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE having my morning “routines”, but we simply can’t build up an attachment to it. What happens when we have been listening to music for our meditation for years and then all of sudden...no music. Do you freak out? 

Take the time to practice other methods of mindfulness/meditation. We have SO many tools available to us. Let us dive deep into all of them. They will all serve a purpose at one time or another. Perhaps you like music, that’s fine to listen to music during meditation...but throw in a silent meditation here and there. 

We shouldn’t always cover up silence. Silence is where the true alchemy lives. When we are always running from silence, whether it be our attention to outside sounds, or the thoughts in our head...there seems to always be noise. Then, when we sit to meditate, we cover up this possibility of being with silence with music or another voice. It’s as though we are scared of the sounds of nothing. We are nervous and fearful of silence. 

I dare you to try it. 

Sit. Breathe. And be with silence. 
Don’t try and run away, don’t try and move to the next thing. Just sit with silence. 

When we move closer and closer towards that inner silence, we become less and less of the “somebody” that they want us to be...
And more and more of who we truly are. 

Embrace yourself. 
Be grateful for yourself. 

You have been through a whole heck of a lot, and you are still here, rockin’ it. 

I’m proud of you friend! 

xo,
Ashlee Ray

How Can I Love Myself More?

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It isn’t... 
“how can I love myself more”? 
It is simply...
“how can I allow myself more?”

We have become so attached to other people’s approvals to mold who we are today. Rather than allowing and accepting the differences, we at often times turn to judgment. 

When we go into a beautiful forest full of trees, we allow and accept. This tree is tall. This tree is short. This one fat. This one small. We don’t attach ourselves to it. (Unless we are in the lumber business) We just simply allow it. We see it’s beauty just as it is. 

The moment we get back with humans, we somehow loose that. We immediately turn to “better than/worse than” or “not good enough”. We immediately turn towards judgement. This goes with others as well as ourself. 

Let’s ALL practice being like trees. Let’s ALL practice living in the state of acceptance. Allow, accept, and appreciate yourself just as you are...right here, right now. Then we can watch this acceptance ripple into the rest of our lives. 

So now friends, let’s ask ourselves...
“How can I accept myself more today?”

xo,

Ashlee <3